Christian Counselling (1) - Biblical Lament
*This article is written with my Christian counselling clients in mind. At Branch of Hope, counselling is offered to people from all walks of life, with Christian counselling available by request.*
As Christians, most of us are comfortable with prayers of praise, thanksgiving, or requests. But when life feels dark — when loss, disappointment, or unanswered questions press in — we can struggle to find words. In these moments, Scripture gives us a different kind of prayer: the prayer of lament.
Lament is the language of those who suffer yet still choose to speak to God. It’s not about pretending to be okay or rushing toward hope. It’s the honest expression of pain before a God who listens.
What is Lament?
To lament is to bring our sorrow, confusion, and even anger to God, rather than hiding them. The Psalms are full of this kind of prayer — cries that sound raw, unfiltered, and deeply human.
David and other psalmists didn’t hold back. They said things like:
“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?”
— Psalm 13:1 (NIV)
These words don’t show a lack of faith. Quite the opposite, they show a faith deep enough to wrestle honestly with God. Lament acknowledges both the pain of life and the character of God. It says: “This hurts, and I don’t understand… but I’m still coming to You.”
The Structure of Biblical Lament
Most biblical laments follow a pattern that can guide us as we pray:
Address God – Begin by turning to Him, even if all you can say is His name.
Complain honestly – Tell God what feels wrong or unjust. Don’t sanitise your words; He can handle your honesty.
Ask boldly – Cry out for what you need — comfort, healing, justice, presence.
Choose trust – Many laments end with a statement of trust or praise, even if nothing has changed yet.
Psalm 42 and Psalm 130 are beautiful examples of this rhythm.
The psalmist weeps — “My tears have been my food day and night” — yet also declares, “Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him.”
This movement from pain to trust isn’t forced; it’s a journey. Sometimes, we may stay in one part of that prayer for a long time. That’s okay. God is patient.
Why Lament Matters
Lament allows our grief to stay connected to relationship. Instead of withdrawing into silence or bitterness, lament keeps the lines of communication open between us and God.
It helps us name what’s broken, which is the first step toward healing.
In lament, we are reminded that God Himself knows suffering. Jesus prayed His own lament on the cross:
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46)
Because of that, we can bring every cry of our hearts to Him without fear.
A Gentle Invitation
If you’re in a season of loss, uncertainty, or sorrow, you might like to try writing your own prayer of lament. It doesn’t need to be eloquent — just honest. You could use these simple prompts:
Address: God, I come to You because…
Complaint: What hurts, confuses, or feels unfair?
Request: What do you long for God to do?
Trust: Even so, what do you still believe about Him?
You might find it helpful to pray aloud or write it in a journal.
Let the Psalms be your companion — especially Psalm 42, Psalm 130, and Psalm 13.
Closing Thought
Lament is not a detour from faith — it’s the road through the valley.
It’s a sacred act of love and trust to bring our tears to the One who catches them all (Psalm 56:8).
When words fail, may our tears become prayers that whisper, “Lord, I still turn to You.”